my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
