Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
