I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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