I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
