A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
there is glitter all over my balls
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