Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
