I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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