he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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