Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize