normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
