yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
As shirtless as possible
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
