How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize