you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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