Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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