Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
