she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Acid is not a monday night drug
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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