Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
