So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
