I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
