My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
