haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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