She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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