How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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