I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
