I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
