You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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