I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
