Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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