Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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