He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
