I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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