so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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