he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
