Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
