need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize