When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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