i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
