dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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