i jhust puked up my retainher.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
