Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
