i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
