They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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