How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
