Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
