Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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