We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why do cheetos always look like penises
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
