He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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