i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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