I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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