I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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