Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
