I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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