i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
