How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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