I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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