I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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