who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
