you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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