so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I didn't notice because vodka
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
