I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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