and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
