She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize