So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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