My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He better not be in your backpack
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize