Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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