17 year olds will be the death of me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
