Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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