she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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