the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize