So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
