I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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