you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize