your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
