i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
