I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
