he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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