I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
