I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
