Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
