when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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