do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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