I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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