That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize