Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
